enough

of course im scared

who wouldnt be.

an actual man

wanting to please me.

and not just sexually.

cheering me up,

and askin about me,

not just the things

i can do between the sheets

but the processes

and items

ideals

and beliefs

that roam thru my mind on the daily.

scared that maybe

he might think im not

as great as he believes

cuz after a while,

like anything new

that new smell

happiness fades away

so i hope whats left

is enough

hmmm

its been so long

almost about a year

since ive had this cheer

and urging

to write

positively

about a male.

maybe this is something

to be happy about

we'll see

yo

no jumping the gun this time

no not i

but

there is someone

of course he's a guy

big ol head

swole broad chest

enough space for me to

lay my head to rest.

unique in every way

but one

he's a man

same parts like the rest

but time will tell

to see if he pasts the test

ughh

as soon as i smile again

you cloud my door

with that goofy demeanor

that is niether stupid

nor funny.

as soon as i almost like someone else

you come at me

bein honest sayin how you feel

as soon as i get rid of thoughts of you

you shadow my door

like my kryptonite

cuz to me you're my weakness

you use it against me

knowin i can replace you easily

but i wont.

so im waitin for you to do it first.

as soon as i think im done with you

i realize i may like him

but i love you

as soon as i can say ur name

without flinching

you kiss me swiftly

like we use to do

as soon as i......

i just dnt know what to do....

fuck it

speak to my heart

cry on my shoulder

hold my hand and stare into my eyes

hug me tight

kiss me softly

say everything will be

just fine.

cuddle up wit me

massage my back

make love

without you loving me

back.

throw me around

tickle me

oh fun

say im the one.

hold my hand

caress my back

kiss me all over.

all this you've done

and still

you say

you just wanna be single

kiss my ass

when im gone you'll realize

you'll find no one like me

when im gone you'll see

you fucked up

when im gone and you move on

you'll compare her to me

so take that bitch you like

and kiss my ass

hatin

general consensus states

im the only one

year after year

im the only one

the girl you tryin to get with

just said "you aint fugly"

but damn she didnt say much else.

im the only one

to give yo ass a chance

to look past the weight

and ur insecurities

im the only one

but yet you on a wild goose chase

for some broad.

so fuck it

get with her

and leave me alone

stop beggin to kiss me

on nights when we're alone

stop beggin to eat the cookie

stop huggin me like we're all good.

cuz im sure you already know

where

you

should

be.

i may be soft

and i may look dumb for waiting

but

when im gone

you will stuck

hating

on the next

im gone

just stay away from

me

this gray area

we've acheived

not together

but doin things

like together people do

takin me out to dinner

and givin me a massage or two

pleasin me just to see me smile

drivin 70 miles.

say you love me

but need to be 100

you dnt want me

so why lead me on

cuz the moment i finally

feel the need to go

baby im gone

dumb ass nigga

i wish you could see

whats right here in ur face

but you cant lead a horse to

water

like i cant make you see.

so this thing

this you and me

its over.

ive waited long enough

this ho ignore you

im always there

you dream of me

think of me

and still

you cant decide

if you wanna be with me

boy

everyone knows

you are stupid.

im not tryin to play you

but look around

if she aint come around

and im still here

why are you still waiting?

bye bye

I cant no more

wait on you to chose

me or her

cuz i should be

first to begin with

she cant compete with me

she aint got shit on me

maybe a prettier face

but to deal with ur shit

on a day to day base

she'll drop you like the rest

i bet you. i know

so scoop her up

and away i go